Sustain Me


Psalm 3

Lord, how many are my foes!

How many rise up against me!

Many are saying of me, “God will not deliver him.”

But you, Lord are a shield around me, my glory, the one who lifts my head high.

I call out to the Lord, and he answers me from his holy mountain.

I lie down and sleep;

I wake again, because the Lord sustains me.

I will not fear though tens of thousands assail me on every side.

Arise Lord!

Deliver me, my God!

Strike all my enemies on the jaw; break the teeth of the wicked.

From the Lord comes deliverance.

May your blessing be on your people.


I remember what it felt like to live out these verses. What a battle it was. I know exactly how it feels to be sustained.



We love you guys and have tremendous hope for all your families!  Every single one!



Talk To The Hand


I was reading Proverbs 19 this morning, thinking of all of you fighting for your family, when I came across this awesome verse:

Many plans are in a man’s heart, but the counsel of the Lord will stand.


I am praying for you today that no matter what comes your way, no matter what ideas and plans your wandering spouse comes up with, you will be able to say to your emotions, your fears, your own desires and your own thoughts…Talk to the hand!

In our darkest of days God gave me the supernatural strength and ability to do this. I pray the same for you! I pray that you will keep your eyes on the one who is really in charge and have the patience and faith to walk out His perfect will and see His counsel come to pass.


How did this look practically?

Most importantly I read the Word every time fear taunted me and tried choke my Faith. Sometimes it was several times a day, once a day, or every other day.

Also, and I have said this before, I was VERY careful who I talked to. I only talked to those who needed to know. Pastor, Counselor, and my two friends standing with me in Faith. That is it. Besides that I kept myself busy with my business, being a Mom, and church life.

Another thing I did, and I can thank my mom for teaching me this,  I took care of myself physically. I have never been one to work out so I didn’t do that but I always looked nice. I think that is very important. I did not walk around looking defeated and helpless, especially in front of Darin.



Darin and I are standing with you!


The Hard

Does God ask us to do hard things

Yes He does

He asks us to do very hard things

Heart wrenching

Hard things

That is what His grace is for

Grace to do the hard

Not grace to do whatever we please

But grace to do whatever God pleases


I remember years ago when I was in Bible College God asked me to do this hard thing. My parents divorced when I was 18 and my Dad ended up moving to the same city where I attended college.

During my college years my Dad was not in a good place. He was not well. He loved God but he was filled with himself I guess. It was terrible, heartbreaking as his daughter. He was so selfish. He was in and out of jobs and had very little money. As a result I ended up giving him money, a lot of money. I became my Dad’s crutch. I knew It was all lop sided but that is just how it was. This went on for several years.

I will never forget how God helped me do this hard thing:

I was waitressing at Perry’s on Fremont at the time and one night my Dad called me at work and said Hey I need 5 bucks to go play golf. I said, ok come down I will give it to you. As I got off the phone with him I immediately felt a complete lack of peace, frustrated, and just sick in side. I felt the Lord speak to me and say Julie if you give him 5 bucks you will be angry and it will be your fault. You have only yourself to be mad at. I said it’s just 5 bucks! I was arguing with God! Telling him 5 bucks was pocket change!

Proverbs 21:3

To do what is right and just is more acceptable to the Lord than sacrifice.

I was so afraid of saying no to my Dad. It was far easier to sacrifice money. As crazy as this sounds I was afraid if I said no to him and wasn’t “there” for him, he would commit suicide. The Lord knew this too. So the Lord said to me just put it on him. Tell him you will give him 5 bucks but when you do this is how it will make you feel. So that is what I did. I will never forget it either. I still see myself outside Perry’s, under the overhang, and my Dad walking up. We were closed and it was about 9:30 at night. I met him outside. He was his happy self I guess because he was going to go golfing the next day. As he walked up I said calmly and “matter of factly” if that is even a word, Dad, I will give you this 5 bucks but this is how it will make me feel. That is all I said. My Dad instantly became angry. He became angry before I even got all the words out. I mean instantly and said all I do for you kids, all I do! He went on a rant as he walked off into the parking lot yelling all these very selfish things.

I walked back in the restaurant finished my shift, got in my car, and as I drove back home, to my dorm, peace came over me. The closer I got to the campus the more peace I felt. I had so much peace knowing I did the right thing, the hard thing that God asked me to do. Grace met me in that moment. Grace to obey and do the hard!

Do you know from that day forward my Dad never asked for money again. Not once! I remember I use to meet him at McDonald’s right there on 82nd and you know what…he began to buy my lunch. I would offer to pay for my own and he would say your money is no good Julie and then he would pay for both of us. Amazing what happened as a result of me doing that very hard thing.

You see


God did something in me that night but more importantly

God did something in my Dad that night

And as his daughter it was severely needed

Is it possible that your obedience could release goodness in someone else

I guess so

We are praying for all of you

Because of this

To have God’s best

We MUST do the hard

Whatever. That. Is.



Talk is Cheap

Psalm 20


May the Lord answer you when you are in distress;

May the name of the God of Jacob protect you.

May he send you help from the sanctuary

and grant you support from Zion.

May he remember all your sacrifices and accept your burnt offerings.

may he give you the desire of your heart and make all your plans succeed

We will shout for joy when you are victorious

     and will lift up our banners in the name of our God

May the Lord grant all your requests.

Now I know that the Lord saves his anointed;

he answers him from his holy heaven with the saving power of his right hand

Some trust in chariots and some in horses,

but we trust in the name of the Lord our God

They are brought to their knees and fall, but we rise up and stand firm.

O Lord, save the king! Answer us when we call!



So many songs have been written over the years using this chapter! May God give us the power to live these words out. Talk is so cheap isn’t it. So easy to sing but so difficult to live out.


Standing with you to the end!






The Mighty Army

I read this chapter this morning and thought about all you brave men and women standing for your marriages! This passage reminds me so much of how it is when you’re standing.

It is talking about the Lords army that doesn’t swerve from the course. We don’t jostle each other but we march straight ahead without breaking rank. You have to read it. It’s powerful! My precious friends, God has a plan in all of this. You are important in this battle. I am telling you, you are! I am praying that you not only know this in your mind but you understand it with your whole heart!

Joel 2:1-11

Blow the trumpet in Zion;
sound the alarm on my holy hill.
Let all who live in the land tremble,
for the day of the Lord is coming.
It is close at hand—
2 a day of darkness and gloom,
a day of clouds and blackness.
Like dawn spreading across the mountains
a large and mighty army comes,
such as never was in ancient times
nor ever will be in ages to come.
3 Before them fire devours,
behind them a flame blazes.
Before them the land is like the garden of Eden,
behind them, a desert waste—
nothing escapes them.
4 They have the appearance of horses;
they gallop along like cavalry.
5 With a noise like that of chariots
they leap over the mountaintops,
like a crackling fire consuming stubble,
like a mighty army drawn up for battle.

At the sight of them, nations are in anguish;
every face turns pale.
7 They charge like warriors;
they scale walls like soldiers.
They all march in line,
not swerving from their course.
8 They do not jostle each other;
each marches straight ahead.
They plunge through defenses
without breaking ranks.
9 They rush upon the city;
they run along the wall.
They climb into the houses;
like thieves they enter through the windows.
10 Before them the earth shakes,
the heavens tremble,
the sun and moon are darkened,
and the stars no longer shine.
11 The Lord thunders
at the head of his army;
his forces are beyond number,
and mighty is the army that obeys his command.

You must know I know how hard standing is. But there is a bigger picture. There is a spiritual battle going on and God is preparing you. Stay focused! Stay in the Word! Stay pure! Keep your eyes on Jesus!

Please know Darin and I are running along side of you with many others that are on the other side of this. We are yelling, You can do it! God is in charge! He ALWAYS wins! If God is for you WHO CAN BE AGAINST YOU! We are yelling it! We are shouting it! Come on now shake off weariness, pick yourself up and stand tall!

You see the enemy wants to take you out but let Faith and confidence rise up within you and say this, No it is me that is going to take you out!

Love you my brothers and sisters!


Ouch, That Bullet Hurt

Psalm 119:137-144

Righteous are you, O Lord,

and your laws are right.

The statutes you have laid down are righteous;

they are fully trustworthy.

My zeal wears me out,

for enemies ignore your words.

Your promises have been thoroughly tested,

and your servant loves them.

Though I am lowly and despised,

I do not forget your precepts.

Your righteousness is everlasting

and your law is true.

Trouble and distress have come upon me,

but your commands are my delight.

Your statutes are forever right;

give me understanding that I may live.

I flipped open the Bible to this verse today. I instantly thought about all of you that are fighting for your family’s life. I would encourage you to pray that last line. Look at this verse it doesn’t say, give THEM understanding that I may live, no it says this…give ME understanding that I may live!

If you have been saying to yourself

The pain of this is so great I might die

Then my dear friend you need understanding

If you have said this fight is not fair

Then my friend I humbly say to you and please know I have been there

You need understanding

If you have said

I am not sure how long I can take this

You need understanding

If you have said

If they do one more thing I’m out of here

Then my precious friend you too need understanding


You see you can be in the foxhole facing the wrong direction. You can have all your gear on, all the very best weapons but facing the wrong way. Because of this you will keep getting hit by bullets that, had you been facing the right direction, would have never hit you. My friends understanding is everything in this battle you are fighting.


Proverbs 4:7-9

Wisdom is supreme; therefore get wisdom. Though it cost all you have, get understanding.

Esteem her, and she will exalt you; embrace her, and she will honor you.

She will set a garland of grace on your head and present you with a crown of splendor.


It will cost you so much but what do you have that is worth anything really? The Word says if you esteem her…you will be exalted. If you embrace her…you will be honored. You will have grace on your head and you will be presented with a crown of splendor.


Praying for you dear friend! Please know we love you and pray continually for you and your precious family!


Love you in God’s way!



I Got No Ego Left

Nothing like a BAD marriage or a very difficult trial to make you feel “less than”. ‘

Oh the enemy loves seeing your ego crushed! He just loves it so much. It makes him happy.

What if this is really what is going on:

Without your permission, although you kind of did give God permission when you sang I surrender all zillions of times, but, out of  nowhere comes an event that you didn’t plan for, you were not trained for, you don’t deserve, and as a result you have never felt feelings like this, fear like this, and doubt like this.  This trial came and is doing its best to destroy you and guess what that is exactly what this trial is meant to do. DESTROY you and everything after you. Crush you, crush your spirit, and destroy you heart!

But what if this is also happening:

You just got enrolled in an elite army! An army of the very best, the brightest, the bravest and you are actually going to be used to destroy the works of the evil one with your very own hands because God, without you even knowing, has trained your hands for war! My friend, because you have Jesus living inside of you, you have become powerful over the years and didn’t even know it. You have become smart through various smaller trials and you can’t see it. This trial, if you respond right, will not destroy you but it will MAKE you!

You can’t see because of fear, doubt and shame.

Rise up warrior and take your place among the very bravest of the brave. Who is brave among you! The Bible says this In Psalm 23. He sets a table before us in the prescence of our enemies. Only those who have been trained by the Most High can stand there and wait and watch and listen.  When the whole world is saying run, and even your own mind says run,  your heart, your brave heart is saying stay! Your heart is saying we are going to watch God set this table put out the china, the goblets, the silver, in the presence of he who is salivating with hate!

Take time to read Proverbs 12 today, it is filled with promises.

Please know, I know exactly what it feels like to have my ego crushed as I trusted and obeyed!

Pray over your heart that nothing would get in the way of you being trained by this trial. This is very important. I have said this before and I will say this again, for four years I was focused on Darin changing instead of myself. I seriously thought I was already trained but I mistaken. Don’t be like me. You must change. Ask God to take any self-righteousness, haughtiness and pride out of your heart.


Love you my dear friend!



Oh Enemy…He Can’t Hear You

I flipped open my Bible this morning and these are the verses my eyes landed on:


Psalm 18: 34-50

He trains my hands for battle; my arms can bend a bow of bronze.

You give me your shield of victory, and your right hand sustains me, you stoop down to make me great.

You broaden the path beneath me, so that my ankles do not turn.

I pursued my enemies and overtook them; I did not turn back till they were destroyed.

I crushed them so that they could not rise; they fell beneath my feet.

You armed me with strength for battle; You made my adversaries bow at my feet.

You made my enemies turn their backs in flight and I destroyed my foes.

They cried for help, but there was no one to save them- to the Lord, but he did not answer

I beat them as fine as dust borne on the wind; I poured them out like mud in the streets.

You have delivered me from the attacks of the people; you have made me the head of nations; people I did not know are subject to me.

As soon as they hear me, they obey me; foreigners cringe before me. They all lose heart; they come trembling from their strongholds.

The Lord lives! Praise be to my Rock! Exalted be God my Saviour!

He is the God who avenges me, who subdues nations under me, who saves me from my enemies.

You exalted me above my foes; from violent men you rescued me.

Therefore I will praise you among the nations, O Lord; I will sing praises to your name.

He gives his king great victories; he shows unfailing kindness to his anointed, to David and his descendants forever.


I love these verses so much!








Making Amends

I read Proverbs 14 today and thought of all of you!

This is the verse that jumped out at me.


Proverbs 14:9

Fools mock at making amends for sin, but goodwill is found among the upright.


What a powerful verse it is yet almost unnoticeable unless you have walked the road we have all walked on.

Praying for you my dear friends!

Praying that you hear exactly what you need to hear from God’s Word today!





Chasing Pain

Sometimes when God calls you to stand in Faith for something, especially your marriage,  it can feel like you’re chasing after pain. It is one thing to chase pain alone but to chase it with kids in tow well, that is beyond heart wrenching.

Know this:

If God calls you to something he ALWAYS comes through. He has never called someone to something and then not shown up. It has never happened! Never will!

Take time today to read 1 Corinthians 1:18-31


God is 100% Faithful!

Praying for you my dear precious friend!