Why Do I Want Certain People’s Approval

I was sitting in my living room asking the Lord why I long for certain peoples approval. Why is this? Several months ago I was talking to the Lord about it,  telling Him how I should wait until I am perfect to write because then people would not hate me and then ultimately they would approve of me. He said to me… Julie, I was perfect and people hated me.

But even in Him telling me that I still sit here wishing for the approval of certain people.

 

Why do I feel disapproval

You ask…well I feel

The words I write often times are like

A bandaid that is being ripped off someone’s arm

My words reveal

Someone’s wound

A wound

That they have been

Trying to hide

And cover

And pretend doesn’t exist

In my heart I hear people say

Julie please

Don’t say that

Just keep quiet

I’m good

I’m not wounded

But my words

Rip off that bandaid

And reveal that there is a deep wound

I say to God

Why am I someone that is called to write things that do that

Isn’t the wound better covered

Isn’t it safer

Isn’t it better for everybody

To pretend there is no wound

I say to God

Are you sure I am supposed to say that

Are you sure

And He says

Say it

I say but people don’t want the bandaid ripped off

People want to pretend it isn’t there

The pain that is

Oozing out

Is not really pain

Why do I have to be the one

To rip off the bandaid with my words

Why God

Another time I was arguing with God telling him that I need to be completely healed to be able to write. How embarrassing to write out of my own hurt. That is so humiliating! I want to look perfect, without any scars and He said Julie I have scars. My scars prove I died on a cross for you, my scars prove I rose again, they prove my power over life and death. I love my scars!

God has showed me that he wants the bandaid  ripped off so that He can come and heal your wound.

He wants to heal it so all you see is a scar.

And then your scar

Will prove that God is alive

That He does have the power over death

And over life

 

Today I am praying for you, that if someone says something or does something that rips off your bandaid which then reveals your wound,  you will not rush to find another bandaid but you will lift your wound up to the light of God so that He can come turn your wounds into scars.

If you have time to google Isaiah 53 it is a good chapter in the Bible. It talks all about Jesus’ wounds.

 

Love you my dear precious friends!

 

 

Jules

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